Week 8: The Counte of Monte Cristo

Jim Caviezel (HIGH CRIMES) and Guy Pearce (THE TIME MACHINE) give sizzling performances in THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO -- the greatest tale of betrayal, adventure, and revenge the world has ever known. When the dashing and guileless Edmond Dantes (Caviezel) is betrayed by his best friend (Pearce) and wrongly imprisoned, he becomes consumed by thoughts of vengeance. After a miraculous escape, he transforms himself into the mysterious and wealthy Count of Monte Cristo, insinuates himself into the French nobility, and puts his cunning plan of revenge in action. This swashbuckling thriller will have you sitting on the edge of your seat until the last ounce of revenge is exacted.

"I loved this movie! I really enjoyed the romance of the story. It was hard to watch with all the light though."

4.5 / 5 thrusters

"I found it weird that Hollywood would make an old timey version of ABC’s hit series “Revenge” when the show is barely out of its first season.  But I do love a good revenge story so this movie gets some points from me.  I thought Janeane Garaffalo gave a stellar performance as Jim Caveezal’s beard.  I read a rumor that Jim actually died while digging the tunnel out of the prison and the whole story after that is just a dream sequence; but I don’t really buy it.  I like a happy ending so in my mind he did avenge himself and reunite with his fiancé and son; even if that wasn’t the director’s intention."

4 / 5 thrusters

"It’s a solid movie. It doesn’t have any levels, there’s no real hidden meaning behind any of the scenes or motives. While the movie is a healthy portion of spoon-feeding, it hides some things until just the right moment. It’s a revenge movie, it’s basically just like Taken… Or Memento… Or Finding Nemo. Same movie."

3.75 / 5 thrusters

"The Count of Monte Cristo is Janeane Garofalo’s best movie. She plays a betrayed, revenge hungry lesbian perfectly. However, I’m sad that this sequel didn’t accurately portray Sammy Jenkin’s memory loss. At time’s he had trouble recognizing the Count of Monte Cristo, but the rest of his memory seemed to be intact. If you’re interested in watching a tall handsome black-haired man get into some awesome sword fights and beat down an entire government, then you should be excited for Equllibrium, the undisputed best action movie on our list."

3 / 5 thrusters and a pair of double doors

"So Lenny wants Jesus’s mousey fiancé. Lenny makes Jesus grow a beard and has him whipped. Jesus rots away in a prison until the day that Grand Wizard Doozledorf emerges from the ground of his cell like a newborn baby ripping his way from the womb. Doozledorf gave Jesus a six-year Hogwartzian degree in magic. Jesus drags his cross to Rome (of all places) to rescue His-Only-Son.  Lenny managed not to kill the mouse (wow!). After everyone thought he was dead, Jesus comes back to life to forgive the mouse’s sins. This story was intricately woven, though not by the genius of the likes of I.P. Freely or Drew P. Weiner. It comes as no surprise that this romantic drama was crafted by A. Dumbass (look it up)."

3 thrusters and two clicks / 5 thrusters