Week 1: Southland Tales

LOS ANGELES, 2008. Southland Tales is a darkly comic, fururistic epic set over the course of three days as the city stands on the brink of social, economic and environmental disaster, in an America under the thumb of the sinister all-seeing agency US-Ident. A large ensemble cast of characters includes Boxer Santaros (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson), an action star stricken with amnesia, Krysta Now (Sarah Michelle Gellar), a porn star with her own reality TV project, and Roland Taverner (Seann William Scott), a cop who holds the key to a vast conspiracy. Time travel, terrorism, and the End of the World collide with apocalyptic results in Southland Tales, the dazzling new film from the writer / director of Donnie Darko.


This week's movie was chosen by Drew.

 "Southland Tales opens the 25 week gauntlet of movie night with a bang. Blending time travel and the apocalypse like two cars crashing into each other. Justin Timberlake narrates the movie like a pimp, rivaled only by Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption. Dwayne Johnson and Sarah Michelle Gellar play star-crossed lovers in a similar fashion to Romeo and Juliet, only with more cock chugging. While not family friendly, it is a movie I would share with my friends and family."

4 loud-ass thrusters out of 5

"It was 0.000000006% better than I expected, Janene Garafalo stole every scene she was in.  I am disappointed the movie spent so much time following Krysta Now and not enough time following Krysta Later."

3.4 thrusters out of 5

"Ok, so the Sicilian invents a perpetual momentum engine using the ocean. It creates liquid energy that’s a drug. Time travel. The Rock and Stiffler go through a portal to the fourth dimension and two of each come out the other side. JT narrates and rocks the red karma. (He got FF’d by Stiffler #1 and now he’s a gov’t sniper post-plastic surgeries) Buffy’s a whacked out porn star. I’m glad I watched this movie. It’s a reminder (NAY - an announcement) that linear, clearly portrayed movies are a luxury, not a right. Donnie Darko 2 ftw." 

3.0000000000006 out of 5 thrusters.

"The movie was a little hard to follow but a shirtless Dwayne Johnson mostly made up for it. So just based on Dwayne Johnson’s chest I would give it..."

3 out of 5 thrusters.

"Technically a movie."

½ of 5 thrusters. 

How'd you like the movie? Sound off in the comments below and join us next week for Movie Night with
"Dumb and Dumber".